She is one of the few memories I have from childhood. Maybe because she had such big impact. She was a very good friend of my mother and everyone loved her because of her bold personality. She always said what was on her mind, she was caring and compassionate, and didn’t put up with any bullshit.

She was the first person to let me “drive”. I remember that day so clearly. She was wearing tight jeans and cowboy boots and pulled me up on her lap to let me steer her blazer. We started off right by our local DMV of all places, but everybody let kids drive in our small town. She smoked a lot, cussed like a sailor, and her favorite color was purple. I always found that odd because she was so tough.

Moving on to the summer when I was 17 years old. I was a wild and rebellious teenager ready to see how much trouble I could get into before my senior year. Until, Jane got sick. She was diagnosed with cancer. Started off in her brain and spread throughout her entire body. She could no longer drive herself to doctor appointments, chemo, or the grocery store. Too proud to hire a nurse or take advantage of hospice, I stepped in. I gave up my summer to be at her beck and call and I was happy to do it.

I drove her into the city 3 times a week for chemo. While she was there, I ran “errands” for her which meant going to the mall to buy her rock candy, going to her favorite mexican restaurant and picking up cheese dip and punch. After chemo, we would spend hours at the grocery store looking at and buying meat, then coming home so she could put it in the smoker, then feed it to her beagles, Fred and Ethel or call friends to come pick it up because her appetite was small. 

We went to head shops, smoked weed together, and tried to make the most of every day. Of course, each day, each week, and so on she got weaker, chemo was just barely keeping her going. The doctor made some kind of net cast of her head and drew a tiny X on the only place the disease hadn’t gotten to yet. It scared the shit out of me.

School was approaching and I to pack my bags and go back home, a few blocks away. Soon after, she passed away. She was finally at rest, no more pain, she was free. Jane will always hold a place in my heart.

Julie made me think of Jane today. I didn’t know her, but I know she had a huge impact on a lot of you and you are all so blessed to have known such a wonderful woman. Rest in peace, Julie.

I’m gonna burn this office to the ground if they don’t turn the a/c up. Then I won’t be cold.

• I just sent in 5’s 30 day notice for his school. I can’t believe he is starting kindergarten in less than a month! I will be so glad to be finished with his current school. Montessori has been good, but weird too. Also, ALSO, his tuition will drop more than $300! Holler!!!!

• IRL, I’m a very quiet person. I grew up with a lot of loud, talkative people and somehow still continue to surround myself with the same type. Sometimes people just need to STFU.

• The loud typer got canned Friday. She will not be missed.

• I read, but do not follow a handful of blogs. Mostly because I like to see what shit that person will write about next. It’s like I’m addicted to seeing what these people will lie about next or tell the same story over and fucking over. I always like to see who hearts their posts and corresponds and wonder WTF?

• I’m not perfect.

• My dream job would be to tell people what’s wrong with their physical appearance, but since there’s probably not a huge demand for that in Arkansas, I’ll just give my opinions out for free.

• It’s too fucking cold in my office. I cannot work in this condition.

• Someone posted a pic of a popsicle yesterday and it almost ruined my life. Anything cold or frozen makes me cringe.

• Someone in the office just said “multiples” and I instantly thought about sex

• Speaking of sex and multiples, I bought some On Balm yesterday. It’s like lube but better. Looks like chap stick, but for your cooch. It’s a little pricey, but totally worth it.

• I didn’t have time to do my makeup or poop this morning so I did it all at work

• I’m bored. I need to follow more people here. It’s not you, it’s me. Suggestions are welcomed.

I’m pretty sure someone was murdered in my neighborhood today. Why else would there be 47 cop cars, fire trucks, ambulances, and a partridge in a pear tree? If it was a meth lab that exploded, I’m gonna be pissed someone didn’t tell me what was cookin’.

I really need to buy groceries, but don’t want to cook. And going to the grocery store is pure hell to me. I’m sure 4 won’t mind hazelnut creamer in his cereal instead of milk.

I really need to pick a school for 4. I can’t decide between two and it really fucking sucks making big decisions like this on your own. Appreciate your significant other if you have one.

I don’t know how to do bullets on my phone. Can you?

I also don’t like meth.

• I’m getting sick

• I’m experiencing some sinus pressure and I feel a little loopy and I don’t hate it.

• I’m going to see Blue Man Group for the third time tonight. It will be 4’s first time.

• Sometimes I am unsure about my job. Should I stay or should I go? I don’t know.

• I will be paying of the last of my student loans soon and I think I’ll go back to school.

• I don’t have any earbuds with me and I am dying. DYING!

• Going for sushi for lunch and looking forward to it.

• My best friend sent my naked photos of herself and asked for my opinion. I am a great friend. We’ve been going strong for over 15 years.

• I have never been as sore as I am right now. I did the Insanity workout 1.5 times this weekend and it hurts to breathe.

• Happy Valentines to you all! I have made some really awesome friends here and I love you guys so much!

• Gotta go blow my nose.

• We’re transitioning owners at work and although I got a raise and a few other things I don’t know if I should stay.

• The current owners are at each others throat and it make me very sad. This business tore their friendship apart.

• I am a very difficult person and I am very thankful that my boyfriend puts up with me.

• Lately I have been dealing with a little separation anxiety with 4. Taking him to school and leaving him for 6 or more hours kills me.

• 4’s school wants the parents to pay $10 for a letter to Santa. That makes me wants to burn the building down. Fucking fundraisers.

• I have listened to one song for 2 days. Over. And. Over.

• I am ready for the weekend. He is coming.

• I will be too