• I’m at swim lessons with the boy and I am kinda jealous of a 3 yr old girls bikini…
• I just saw some woman put her kid in timeout 4 times for about 30 seconds. You’re doing it wrong, bitch!
• I think the loud typer at work is getting canned
• I can’t find my kid. Glad he’s with a lifeguard
• I am soooo ready to go to the beach next week
• I’m such an idiot for wearing jeans today
• I have heartburn. Every. Day.
• Seriously, where’s my son?
• Later dudes